There was a point in my life when I realised that saying no could be one of the most interesting things I could do.
It started with the lure of Las Vegas. Pre dot-com bust era, I was living in Vancouver and working for a high-tech company. My job involved launching products around the world, which sounds glamorous, and sometimes it absolutely was as much as it wasn't.
I worked on a product launch in the early 2000's of ecommerce tool (think very early Shopify) in Las Vegas. There were parties, conferences, big launches, more parties, costumes, late nights and all the excitement that came with working in tech at the time. Which was a lot!
My first trip to Vegas was brilliant.
I went back. And back again. And then, eventually, I found myself being invited to Vegas for work the fourth time.
And I remember thinking:
I know exactly what is going to happen. I'm going to have an absolute blast.
I'll go out. I'll drink. I'll dress up. I'll spend money. I'll stay up too late. I'll have stories to tell.
And I'll probably have a fantastic time.
But I also knew something else.
It wasn't how I wanted to spend my time anymore.
So I said no, thank you.
Not because Vegas was bad (it kind of is, but there's amazing parts too!).
Hopefully not because I suddenly became boring.
I said no because I had become curious about what might happen if I made more time to say yes to something else.
And that decision opened a door. And then many, many more.
Because once Vegas wasn't taking up that space in my life, there was room for other experiences. Other places. Other people. Other adventures.
I ended up discovering places like Costa Rica, walking the camino, and a thousand other adventures I really wanted to do.
And I often think about that decision to say no when I think about fashion. And in particular fast fashion. It's just so hard to say no to. Until it isn't.
I wonder what would happen if we applied that same thinking to the way we shop.
For me, Vegas was actually quite simple. I didn't need to keep debating whether I should go again. I just decided: I'm not going anymore.
And that was it.
Will I ever change my mind? Probably not. Even the Sphere doesn't tempt me. Not even a little bit.
Once I've decided something isn't for me, I find it much easier to simply stop going there rather than constantly trying to resist the temptation to go.
And maybe shopping can work the same way.
Instead of endlessly trying to talk ourselves out of buying from places we don't want to support, perhaps we can simply decide:
That's not where I shop anymore.
And then go somewhere else.
What if saying no creates space?
We live in a world that is exceptionally good at telling us what we should want.
Another package arriving at the door feel familar and normal.
And the more convenient shopping becomes, the less opportunity there is for something unexpected to happen.
You see it. You click it. You buy it. It arrives.
And then all you're doing is just looking for the next thing.
But secondhand shopping works differently.
You don't know what you're going to find.
That's the point.
You might walk into a market looking for a black dress and walk out with a vintage silk jacket, a pair of shoes from the 1990s and the most ridiculous little handbag you've ever seen.
You might find a dress someone bought in New York for $10.
Or something that reminds you of your mum.
I can spend $20 and feel like I've won the lotto all week if I really love what I've found!
That is the thrill of the hunt.
And somewhere along the way, secondhand shopping stopped being something I did occasionally and became almost the only way I wanted to shop.
I wasn't trying to prove a point.
I wanted to do it becaus it was way more interesting to me.
So what we are really what trying to build with Her Wardrobe Markets and our growing Thrifterhood community.
A community of people who love fabulous things and would rather discover them from an interesting person in an interesting place than simply scroll through another endless stream of identical new clothes.
It's about curiosity and making room for something you might just really love more.
And I think that's an important decision.
Because when we talk about changing our consumption habits, the conversation can sometimes sound like we're asking people to give things up.
I think we should all spend a bit more time thinking about what it is we actually want before buying anything.?
I wonder how much of what we think we want is actually algorithm-fed?
We may never really know until we spend a little more time away from the scrolling.
Maybe we need a little less scrolling and a lot more strolling.
There's no algorithm to predict what you'll discover when even you don't know what you're looking for. Haha!
Close one door. See what opens.
This is why I'm more and more interested in the psychology of saying no with respect to changing consumer behaviour when it comes to fast fashion.
We often think changing our behaviour requires enormous amounts of willpower.
But I wonder if the simplest thing you can do is remove the thing that keeps asking you to make the decision.
If something doesn't feel good for you any more, make some time to:
Delete the app.
Unsubscribe.
Remove the saved credit card.
Stop following the account.
Make the thing you don't want to do slightly harder. And then whenever it pops up, just quietly say no, thank you.
And then make the thing you do want to do easier.
If it's no longer fun to try and summon enough willpower not to buy something when you're online, it's time to go outside.
Soak in the feeling of being out and about at a market, in the sunshine, making friends! You don't even need to buy anything for the dopamine to hit!
Have a rummage, talke to the woman who owns the dress you love, and go home with not just new treasures, but also so many stories!
Sometimes the most exciting thing isn't what you get to do when you say yes.
It's what becomes possible when you finally say no.
And if you're anything like me, there might be a much more colourful, creative and unexpected world waiting on the other side.
Welcome to Thrifterhood.
Come and see what you find!
August is one of our favourite months to thrift!
Here's where we'll be in 2026.
🌴 TUGUN // Gold Coast
Saturday 16 August
Tugun Village Community Centre
414 Coolangatta Rd
12pm-4pm / $3 Entry
Instagram.com/fashionmarket.gc/
Spend the morning at the beach. Grab coffee in Tugun Village. Then come thrift with us.
Click here to book.
✨ NEWSTEAD // Brisbane
Sunday 23 August
Stratton, 3 Stratton St
12pm-4pm / $3
Our much-loved Rack Market returns. Rack + table included. Fabulous venue with a new local cult following.
Click here to book.
❤️ RED HILL BOWLS // Brisbane
🌱 THRIFTERHOOD // Indooroopilly, Brisbane
Saturday 12 September
Witton Barracks, 9 Lambert St
9am-1pm | FREE ENTRY
Instagram.com/thrifterhood.indro/
We're ridiculously excited about this one.
You can sell: Fashion. Books. Homewares. Art. Craft de-stash.
Great people selling great things! Your new neighbourhood Saturday morning thrift.
Thanks again for thrifting with us! xo